Let’s think about the magic of the giant sunflowers. They are totally amazing and beautiful, full of sensitivity and flexibility. They live their lives relating to the sun. In the morning they open their wide-eyed faces to the east and as the day progresses, they continue to turn, following the sun’s luminosity. From sunrise to sunset they are easefully and respectfully focused on their relationship with the sun.

Taking a lesson from these tall friends can help us to make progress in our relationships. We can’t just muscle ourselves into some new plan to forward our intention, much as we may try. The choice that ensures sound relationships is more than simply a one fell swoop change in behavior. Changing a relationship in a lasting way involves a chain of considerations, (like stepping stones across the river,) a succession of choices that creates a whole.

Here is the step which is vitally important. We must relax into our heart, soften into our intention to be respectful. We need to become flexible. It is a surrendering similar to the devoted connection of the flowers to the sun. What helps most is letting go of thoughts and opinions that have held our heart at bay, giving us reason to resist the turning of our heart. We must soften into a different “interior condition.” Taking time to reflect on this new dynamic of our intention, we begin to hear truth whispering to us, calling us back to connection.

Like the sunflowers, we need to be on the journey, guided by the beam of light from the other person’s heart. We reaffirm our desire to grow, to expand more into connection and our own light. We grow aware of how inflexible we have become, and soften more. We begin to see the other person’s heart with new, sensitive eyes. We allow ourselves to hear our own subtle, inner guidance.

Then, quite naturally, we know who we can be and need to be in this relationship. What we can do for the person becomes clear. This responsive impulse to act arises from an internal metamorphosis, having followed many stepping stones of fresh perceptions and choices. The river of incremental choices has been successfully crossed, connecting us more deeply to our heart and our intention.

Now it is time for us to act warmheartedly. It is a choice that will fill us with gratitude. We will be living our heart’s desire, filled with joy.


  1. Create a clear intention for how we would like to be with others.
  2. Relax into our heart and soften into our intention.
  3. Be guided by the beam of light from the other person’s heart.
  4. Be accountable and soften even more.
  5. Act warmheartedly toward the person.
  6. Feel the connection and be filled with joy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.